NFA Champion Interview: "Listen, you should earn your foul"

We now bring you an exclusive interview with Arlington Assaulters, conducted by yours truly, the commissioner.

Commissioner: So how does it feel to be the National Foul Association Champion?

Arlington Assaulters: It feels great!!!! Just like normal. Always knew I was a champion.

Commish: You ended the duopoly of Pgastan FC and Rodman'sWeddingDress, anything you want to say? Any advice for Atletico Madrid who are looking to end the duopoly in La Liga?

AA: F*** those guys! I am the best! Those guys are just lucky I didn't come along until now.

Atletico will be fine. Just keep scoring goals and f*** the naysayers.

Commish: The first two years whichever team had Dwight Howard won, the last two years whichever team had DeMarcus Cousins won, you had neither, how did you do it?

AA: Fouling is a team sport.  Draft well and you may end up like me someday.  Hah. Good luck.

Commish: Do you think flopping is an integral part of NFA? It actually encourages fouls for your opponents, giving your competition more points.

AA: Listen,you should earn your foul.  Dwayne Wade drawing the techy versus Lance Stephenson for his second techy and the ejection was disgusting.    And seeing LeBron James flop every day to give out fouls like candy... Some players should be banned.  Hell just take the Heat out of the NFA.  They don't belong.

Commish: As an NFA team owner, would you like to see more contract bonuses for performance fouls?

AA: Hell no!  My team would bankrupt me if this happened.

Commish: Should the league be open to expansion or will that just dilute the fouler pool?

AA: Expansion is fine.  More suckers for me to walk through to get to the NFA trophy.

Commish: Would you be open to expanding rosters (if Yahoo! allows it) to add coaches to rosters in order for teams to get bench techys?

AA: Absolutely.  Bench techys are a whole new source of entertainment for our fans.

Commish: You were first in the league in Fouls, Foul outs, Ejections, and Flagrants, but were only 4th in techys, is this something you want to improve moving forward?

AA: What!!! I AM THE BEST!!! This interview is over!!!

Commish: Any free agent pickups you want to attribute to you winning the title? Who was your 6th man of the year?

AA: No free agent really stands out.  Westbrook had his moments although he spent a lot of time on the bench.  Same with 6th man of the year.  Everyone had a job to do and did it well.

Commish: Who is your team's Most Valuable Fouler (MVF)?

AA: MVF was Lowry.  He had a great season.

End of the Season Awards: The Donkies!

It's that time of year again, time for the Donkies! Let's get it started:

The Donkey for Most Personal Fouls goes to... Andre Drummond with 273 PFs owned by Pgastan FC

The Donkey for Most Foul Outs goes to... It's a three-way tie between Amir Johnson, Jason Thompson and Kyle Lowry all with 5 and all owned by league champ Arlington Assaulters

The Donkey for Most Technical Fouls goes to... It's a tie between Blake Griffin (Rodman'sWeddingDress) and DeMarcus Cousins (They Call Me Gamblor) both foulers had 16 techys.

The Donkey for Most Ejections goes to ... Brandon Jennings with 3, owned by They Call Me Gamblor

The Donkey for Most Flagrant Fouls goes to Jared Sullinger (Baltimore Hitsquad) with 5. Interesting to note he led the league with 5 at hte Donk-Star Break too.


Now Donkies by position:

PG: Kyle Lowry (Arlington Assaulters) with 2255 points (267 PFs, 5 FOs, 11 Techys, 1 Ejection, and 1 Flagrant)

SG: Lance Stephenson (They Call Me Gamblor) with 1775 points (204 PFs, 2 FOs, 12 Techys, and 1 Ejection)

SF: Draymond Green (They Call Me Gamblor) with 1835 points (231 PFs, 3 FOs, 6 Techys, 1 Ejection, and 2 Flagrant Fouls)

PF: DeMarcus Cousins (They Call Me Gamblor) with 2330 points (270 PFs, 4 FOs, 16 Techys, and 1 Ejection)

Center: Also DeMarcus Cousins (They Call Me Gamblor) with 2330 points (270 PFs, 4 FOs, 16 Techys, and 1 Ejection)

6th Man of the year goes to the highest point total for a fouler who went undrafted. The award goes to... Andre Drummond (Pgastan FC) 2025 points (273 PFs, 3 FOs, 10 Techys, and 1 Flagrant). He was one of only 5 players over 2000 points this season joining DeMarcus Cousins (2330), Blake Griffin (2305), Kyle Lowry (2255), and Spencer Hawes (2105).

And now.... The Most Valuable Fouler (MVF) award goes to.... No surprise here, DeMarcus Cousins (They Call Me Gamblor) with 2330 points (270 PFs, 4 FOs, 16 Techys, and 1 Ejection)

That's it for now, check back later this week for our exclusive interview with Arlington Assaulters.

Keep Foulin' Y'all!

FM

End of the Season Update

Congratulations to Arlington Assaulters who held off They Call Me Gamblor for his first NFA title. Pgastan FC finished in 3rd for another top 3 finish for the Foul Club (previously known as Donkey Engine and Steam Donkey FC). That is 5 top 3 finishes in 5 seasons.

Stat Corrections: There were 5 stat corrections that took place on April 16th, but only 1 was owned by a player.

- Rajon Rondo was credited with a personal foul retroactive to April 9th. They Call Me Gamblor did not have him active that day so this does not affect his points.


Standings as of April 17:

1. Arlington Assaulters- 11605 pts (+270)
2. They Call Me Gamblor- 11310 (+175)
3. Pgastan FC- 10985 (+235)
4. Baltimore Hitsquad- 9650 (+45)
5. Rodman'sWeddingDress- 9580 (+135)
6. Squids- 8905 (+265)
7. Da Botchomania- 7955 (+130)
8. F'N FLOPPERS- 7905 (+70)



Starting from the bottom, F'N FLOPPERS fell back to 8th in this short and final week to finish at the bottom of the league. A disappointing season for the team indeed. Da Botchomania finished in 7th in his first season in NFA but did not crack the 8000 point plateau. Squids finished in 6th in his 2nd season in the league after narrowly missing a top 3 finish last year. Rodman'sWeddingDress finished a disappointing 5th after 2 titles in his first 2 seasons and a 2nd place finish in his 3rd season. Baltimore Hitsquad came on strong after being in the cellar for a good portion of the season but still finished in 4th, his best finish is 2nd in 2010. As mentioned above, Pgastan FC finished 3rd and just missed the 11000 point plateau by 15 points. They Call Me Gamblor finished 2nd in his first season in NFA. Given that he had first pick and took DeMarcus Cousins he was the preseason favorite. However, the title goes to Arlington Assaulters, who took a long time on each draft pick but it seem to pay off in the end.


Transactions: Given that this league has weekly roster changes only, it makes sense that there were no transactions.


That's it for this update. Check back in the coming days for the End of the Season Donkies and an exclusive interview with league champ Arlington Assaulters.

Keep Foulin' Y'all!

FM

 

Weekly Update: April 14, 2014

So it comes to this, the last weekly update of the 2013-2014 NFA season. 1st has a 200 point lead over 2nd and 2nd has a 385 point lead over third, Pgastan FC, who had a huge night last night. Pgastan FC scored 330 points last night despite not one player scoring over 100, a true team effort. His totals were 22 personal fouls, 1 foul out, 2 techys, and 1 flagrant. Well, let's get to the update:

Stat Corrections: There were no stat corrections this week.

Standings as of April 14, 2014:

1. Arlington Assaulters- 11335 pts (+420)
2. They Call Me Gamblor- 11135 (+380)
3. Pgastan FC- 10750 (+605)
4. Baltimore Hitsquad- 9605 (+275)
5. Rodman'sWeddingDress- 9445 (+325)
6. Squids- 8640 (+240)
7. F'N FLOPPERS- 7835 (+355)
8. Da Botchomania- 7825 (+235)


Let's start from the bottom this time. F'N FLOPPERS has finally made it out of the basement, albeit only by a 10 point margin. Squids seems locked in 6th place. 5th place Rodman'sWeddingDress has an outside shot of gaining on 4th place, but would need massive nights on Monday and Wednesday. Pgastan FC easily scored the most out of all teams this past week with 605 points giving him a an outside shot of getting 2nd place, but it's not very likely. They Call Me Gamblor is only 200 points back of first, Arlington Assaulters and will need at least a few performance fouls to take the title from Arlington Assaulters, it could all come down to Wednesday night depending on how teams do tonight.


Transactions:

-Pgastan FC picked up DeMar DeRozan and droped Damian Lillard on April 12th.




That's it for now, come back later in the week as we do the end of the season Donkies and wrap up the 2013-2014 NFA season.

Keep Foulin' Y'all

FM

Weekly Update: April 7, 2014

Greetings and welcome to the penultimate weekly update for Flagrant Ideals in the 2013-2014 NFA season. Let's get to it:

Stat Corrections: There were 2 stat corrections this week, however, neither player belonged to a team so I won't address it.


Standings as of April 7, 2014:

1. Arlington Assaulters- 10915 pts (+285)
2. They Call Me Gamblor- 10755 (+320)
3. Pgastan FC- 10145 (+335)
4. Baltimore Hitsquad- 9330 (+370)
5. Rodman'sWeddingDress- 9120 (+485)
6. Squids- 8400 (+290)
7. Da Botchomania- 7590 (+340)
8. F'N FLOPPERS- 7480 (+320)

There were no changes in the standings this week and it was a relatively low scoring week with the highest point total coming from the Rodman'sWeddingDress with a +485. Arlington Assaulters holds a 160 point lead on They Call Me Gamblor who has a 610 point lead over Pgastan FC. The Hitsquad is still has 815 points to make up before he catches Pgastan FC for the bronze trophy. Given there is still 16 days of the NFA season, anything can happen (note Pgastan FC's only ejection in 2011 came in the last week which enabled him to pass Baltimore Hitsquad for the Silver trophy), but any team will need some performance fouls in order to jump up in the standings (or in Arlington Assaulters case, hold off the field). Rodman'sWeddingDress is closing in on 4th, but still over 1000 points behind 3rd. Squids, Da Botchomania, and F'N FlOPPERS are bringing up the rear.


Transactions:

- They Call Me Gamblor added Rajon Rondo and dropped Nate Robinson on April 4th
- Arlington Assaulters added Paul Pierce and dropped David Lee on April 6th


That's it for now.

Keep Foulin' Y'all!

FM

Weekly Update: March 31, 2014

Only a few more weeks left in the NFA Season, time to start sweating for certain teams, let's find out who.

Stat Corrections: There were 6 total stat corrections, but only 3 players are owned by teams.

- Kevin Durant lost a techy retroactive to March 21. Da Botchomania had him active that day so he lost 40 pts

- Jason Thompson lost a techy retroactive to March 11. Arlington Assaulters had him active that day so he lost 40 pts 

- Dwight Howard lost a techy retroactive to March 5. Squids had him active that day so he lost 40 pts


Standings as of March 31:

1. Arlington Assaulters- 10630 pts (+515)
2. They Call Me Gamblor- 10435 (+530)
3. Pgastan FC- 9810 (+475)
4. Baltimore Hitsquad- 8960 (+375)
5. Rodman'sWeddingDress- 8635 (+290)
6. Squids- 8110 (+135)
7. Da Botchomania- 7250 (+325)
8. F'N FLOPPERS- 7160 (+535)

None of the teams made a move up or down the standings so it was relatively uneventful in that aspect. Surprisingly last place, F'N FLOPPERS gained the most points and is only 90 points from 7th. 6th place Squids had a disappointing week of only 135 points but still has a nice cushion ahead of 7th. Rodman'sWeddingDress gained 290 points but lost ground to 4th place Baltimore Hitsquad who gained 375 points. Pgastan FC gained 475 points but it was not enough to gain any ground on 2nd or 1st. Arlington Assaulters holds a 95 point lead over They Call Me Gamblor, so he will most likely be sweating the remainder of the NFA season.

Transactions:

- Arlington Assaulters added PJ Tucker and dropped Tony Allen on March 26th. 

Weekly Update: March 24, 2014

With less than a month left in the NFA season, things are starting to shape up. So let's get right to it.

Stat Corrections: We have the rare personal foul stat correction.

- Roy Hibbert gained a personal foul retroactive to March 14. baltimore Hitsquad had him active that day so he gained 5 pts

George Hill was the player who had the foul taken away, but no one has him on their team.

Standings as of March 24:

1. Arlington Assaulters- 10115 pts (+650)
2. They Call Me Gamblor- 9905 (+370)
3. Pgastan FC- 9335 (+505)
4. Baltimore Hitsquad- 8585 (+535)
5. Rodman'sWeddingDress- 8345 (+455)
6. Squids- 7975 (+245)
7. Da Botchomania- 6925 (+245)
8. F'N FLOPPERS- 6625 (+240)

Arlington Assaulters had the highest point total this week (650) and regained the lead from They Call Me Gamblor with a 650 point week to TCMGs 370 point week. Pgastan FC  is only 570 points behind 2nd, with 3 about 3 weeks to go, it's possible but going to be a challenge. Baltimore Hitsquad had a 535 point week and gained 80 points on Rodman'sWeddingDress. Rodman'sWeddingDress is only 240 points behind the Hitsquad and could regain 4th with a strong week. The bottom feeders are not doing much, though Squids has an outside chance to get back to 5th.

Transactions: There were no transactions this week.

That's it for now

Keep Foulin' Y'all!

FM